From sim to shining sim

So, for a while now I’ve been hearing that some people get a page error when they try to view my blog. Some of my favorite folks from Plurk haven’t been able to view this blog at all – including creators whose stuff has been blogged right on these pages.

Well, enough of that. Earlier I headed over to WordPress and whipped myself up a brand spankin’ new blog… er, almost. Actually all I did was copy all the posts over from THIS blog and tack on the date they were originally published (which isn’t QUITE accurate for about the first 10-ish posts, because I started out on a different server and later moved them).

But anyway. It was quite a trip down Memory Lane. I cringed a little at the quality of some of my earlier snaps (and one or two of the later ones – seriously, there’s one relatively recent one in there that looks overexposed and grainy in addition to being poorly cropped; what was I THINKING?). I seriously considered, for quality reasons as well as time-saving ones, just starting with the past few months and leaving out the stuff from long long ago when I ran around in freebies and had no idea there was real designer clothing inworld. But it’s all a part of me, and even when I was cringing, I was laughing too.

I wanted to make it look like this one but couldn’t find the theme – actually I kind of like the theme on the new one, so maybe I’ll change the old. I  also need to add tags to all the posts there, not to mention getting the blogroll set up.

And just some random updates… I moved again (got some land for sale cheap with bonus prims, tier’s paid through the end of the month if you’re interested). Long story, would have LOVED to have stayed where I was but was lucky enough to get an awesome new place on a sim owned by good friends. I still have the original Chartreusia shop on Elf Fala Lands and kept one small parcel there where I may put up a slightly larger shop. Meanwhile I need to get cracking and get more stuff set up at my new shop on Heart and Sole. I’m still hosting live music at the H&S Courtyard and DJing Wacky Request Night there every Monday; also DJing a few nights a week at House of the Rising Sun, AND I’m the associate editor of Scruplz Magazine! WOOT! Which reminds me, I need to do a blogpost there.  :D

Much like my old blogposts, the snap above is something I dredged up from the archives, and I’m not completely sure what I’m wearing. The top is Nilaya in charcoal from Zaara, bangles are the free ones at Zaara, skin is Sunny in Sundust from Curio (not sure which makeup). The eyes are probably my EyeScreams; the hair, I THINK, is Grace from Exile, but don’t quote me. I’ve worn that necklace a zillion times but I can’t remember what it is, and I don’t recognize the nails at all. I do know the pic was taken at Heart Garden Centre because I saved it with the filename “Vic at Heart Garden Centre.”  :D

I was just thinking, “Wow, this blogging week went fast!” And no wonder, it was only six days instead of seven. I almost made it even shorter – gotta go back in and edit yesterday’s title so I don’t have two Day 4s.  :D

Today’s topic: If this is your first BBBC… What did you get out of your experience? Do you think it will change the way you blog in the future?

The biggest thing for me was realizing that I really CAN find something to write about every day. I wasn’t in a particularly creative mood when the week started – still not, in fact – and I worried about that. Having suggested topics to use as a jumping-off point was a HUGE help, and I don’t know if I’d have completed the week without them.

I hope this DOES change my blogging habits to be more consistent. I have so much awesome stuff in my inventory that I’d love to blog, but I always tell myself I don’t have the time. I realized this week that writing is the easy part – what takes me a while is Photoshopping. This is partly because I’m usually trying to run too many things at once and it’s slow as hell, and partly because I’d love to make really pretty pics like I see on other blogs but I’m still working on mah skillz.  :D

I thought this pic was appropriate for a blog about blogging. I started playing with Windlight settings in large part for blog snaps, and this was the first-ever snapshot I ever took using anything other than the default environmental settings.

Surprisingly, I THINK I can ID everything I’m wearing in the pic even though it’s been several months since I took it. If you notice I’ve got something wrong, let me know!

What Vic is wearing:

Top: Sweater tunic in blue by Cupcakes

Pants: Stacy gray tights from Adored

Boots: Stacy gray boots from Adored

Hair: Aphrodite in dark brown by Adam n Eve (first good hair I ever bought)

Skin: Sweetheart – Nutmeg – Holly from Cupcakes

Necklace: Emerald and Diamond wire necklace by Garth Bellman (couldn’t find a landmark)

Pose: Part of Pure Lady AO from Oracul

Finally a  topic that doesn’t make me cringe just a little!  :D

Thanks to a Plurk friend of a Plurk friend, I was lucky enough to get this gorgeous Danaini dress from Elymode last night. I was already up too late and had decided not to go to bed because I had to get up too early, and I function better on no sleep than not enough. I knew as soon as I tried it on that I wanted to blog it, so I whiled away the time trying out poses, getting snaps and Photoshopping.

I’m glad I did, because today I get to blog about anything I want – and Danaini makes a fine topic! I love purple, I love delicate floral patterns, I love sweet summery tops and long flowing skirts. What more could I ask for than this dress?

The abstract pattern makes me think of fields lush with violets, with just enough blue mixed in to evoke the summer sky. While the top is cut daringly low, the sweet coloring and wrapped bottom give it a touch of innocence, a kind of naughty-but-nice appeal. The skirt whirls gracefully around my legs, as though floating on a gentle zephyr.

A fringe benefit to my unexpected gift was rediscovering Elymode. I have a bad habit of unpacking hunt items and promising myself I’ll try them later. The trouble is… I get forgetful. When I was doing the ICON Lifestyle Hunt, I remembered that one of the shops had a lot of really cute stuff at really reasonable prices. But I couldn’t remember the name of the shop or its hunt item. So when I went back to Elymode tonight and added a few new pretties to my wardrobe, I realized I’d already been there – and now that I’ve rediscovered it, I know I’ll be back!

What Vic is wearing

Dress: Danaini in Lilac from Elymode

Hair: Marie – Cranky Brown by fri.day

Skin: Sundust [Light] Elf 2-Blue Bird 1 from Curio

Necklace: Vanisri wrapped necklace in turquoise-silver from Zaara

Bracelets: Melange bangles in blue from Zaara

Earrings: Melange earrings in blue from Zaara

Shoes: Popsicle from Heart & Sole

Nails: Sculpted Nails v2.0 – Springtime Series from Exodi

Lashes: NoAlpha Lashes No. 6 from Miamai

Poses: Top, Strawberries from with love & squalor; middle, Pin up – 6 – Curvy from Glitterati; bottom, Goldfish at sea from Dollipops

Eyes: EyeScream Basics in Leaf from Chartreusia

The butterfly tattoo on my shoulder was made by a friend and isn’t being sold anywhere – although it should be!

Just when I thought the Big Bad Blogger Challenge topics couldn’t get any stickier, along comes, “What’s my age again?”

So far I’ve been using the topics as general guidelines rather than addressing the specific questions. For the record, today those questions are:

SL Bloggers – Is your avatar more or less your current biological age? Do you portray a younger avatar, or older? Why is this?

RL Bloggers – Do you lie about your age? Do you think you act your age? Are you where you thought you’d be at your current age?

To be honest, I’ve never really thought of Vic as having an age. She’s a legal adult. If I had to pin it down, I’d say anywhere from early 30s to mid-40s. Sometimes she feels (and acts) a little younger, sometimes a bit older. Age doesn’t seem nearly as much of an issue online as it does in the real world.

In real life, I claim to be 29… since 1992. As much as I joke about my age, I don’t try to hide it. I just don’t emphasize it. Emotionally I don’t feel “old” (physically is another story thanks to fibromyalgia and arthritis), and I tend to be drawn to people who are 5-20 years younger than I am. Early 20s on down, I often find it hard to relate; same goes for 50s and up. I have no idea why.

The cool thing about Vic is that she’s an avatar and doesn’t have to worry about wrinkle cream and hair coloring, and her boobs will never sag unless I adjust her sliders. What does she care whether she’s 26 or 46? Age can’t slow her down. I envy her that.

I admit – I cringed a little when I saw that today’s topic was relationships. I’m single in both RL and SL, and I can’t decide whether that’s good or bad.

I suck utterly at RL relationships. I tend to fall for guys I know I can’t have – no, not married/taken, I don’t go there. It’s more like guys who have no idea I exist and would probably be totally incompatible with me anyway. When I’m being brutally honest with myself, I can see that this is probably my way of staying OUT of a real relationship. Why? I don’t know. Maybe even as old as I am, I’m just not ready, or I haven’t met “the one.” I’ve rarely felt as though I had much control over my life. Maybe I need to get that before I allow another person close enough to have a hand in controlling it, too.

I think I’d actually rather have an SL partner than a RL one. No, not to break out the Xcite gear and poseballs, just to have someone to go places and do things and add a little romance to a relatively boring life.

If I had an SL partner, would I meet him in RL? I think I would, IF I were sure that we were both on the same page as far as where the relationship stood. I’ve been on both the giving and receiving ends of unrequited love, and I don’t much fancy being in either situation again. But yeah. If I had an SL partner and he was going to be in my general area, I’d definitely be up for getting together for, say, lunch/dinner/movie.

In the meantime, I’ll just hang out on my dock and watch the waves by myself while I think about the blog I’m going to write about this outfit I’m wearing!

Real-life issues sometimes tend to make me a bit of a negative Nellie in both worlds, so when I saw that today’s suggested topic was “Be Positive,” I have to admit – I sat back in my chair and went meh.

But you know, even though it always made me mad when my mother said this growing up, there always IS someone out there who has it worse than you. Funny thing is, when you find one, sometimes that’s the person who can pull you as far out of your funk as you’re ever gonna get.

Chastity was a good friend long before either of us discovered Second Life®. In fact, once I got on SL, it took me more than a year to convince her to try it (and less than an hour to get her completely hooked). I’m glad she did, though. I can’t imagine my virtual life without her, whether she’s dragging me out shopping and making me spend Linden I SWORE I was going to save, making me purr over the air for her during a DJ set, insisting for the umpteenth time that she doesn’t want any chickens or PlantPets, faithfully trailing in my wake while I search every prefab house ever made for the one that’s perfect, or just hanging out and occasionally flashing some bewb at each other while we try on all those clothes we just bought after we promised each other we weren’t going to spend anything.

Thanks for bringing a little bit of positive to my life, Chas.  :)

Oh, and…  *purrrrrr*

Must. Be. Disciplined. Must. Blog. Daily.

Yeah, let’s see if I can make this happen. I’ve just signed up for the BBBC – or the Big Bad Blogger Challenge (you can find more info on this here). The idea is to post a blog a day, every day, for a week, starting – well, now.

Today’s suggested topic from Alicia Chenaux is, “Why did you become a blogger? How has it enriched your life?”

Why? Well, because I love to write. Almost anything, just like reading. I tend to be inconsistent – there are days when I could easily post about a dozen times, but then there are weeks when I can’t seem to post anything at all. This is probably why my novel-in-process has been that way for so long.

Blogging gives me a way to share my experiences and thoughts with people who mostly don’t know me well, if at all. It also helps me create a record of those experiences and thoughts for myself, something I REALLY need – I suffered a concussion in a car accident a few years ago and have some issues with short-term memory.

Recently, and totally unintentionally, I’ve found myself blogging more about fashion than anything. This has led to a Linden-draining obsession with nice clothes, but hey – my blog pics are a lot better!

That’s one of the other reasons I blog. I would LOVE to learn more about Photoshop, and editing my snapshots gives me all kinds of opportunities to play around.

My obsession with SL has spilled over into my RL – and even my other virtual lives. I’m a staff member on a Harry Potter fan site (oh yes, I’m SUCH a Potter nerd!). Every week, the members – or “students,” since, you know, we’re at Hogwarts – get a chance to make avatar/signature sets and other graphics for a staff member; the best ones are awarded Galleons (which unfortunately can’t be converted to Lindens, darn it). A few weeks ago it was my turn to be staffer of the week. The banner at the top and the sets that follow are courtesy of a fellow HP fan who goes by the username “Utopiaswriter” – because when putting down what theme I wanted for my graphics and providing base images, I used SL and some of my snaps.  :D

With all the unique and beautiful things available at Fantasy Faire 2010, it’s easy to forget the real purpose of the event.

The Faire benefits the American Cancer Society‘s Relay For Life, which strives to eliminate cancer. For creator Lihan Taifun of Pretty Things By Lihan, it’s more than just a chance to do some good. As the hovertext on her lily pond at the Faire says, “This year it’s personal.”

And no wonder – cancer has struck Lihan’s life in a very personal way.

“Three years ago it was my husband with prostate cancer,” she said, “currently me with breast cancer. He is 100% recovered. I’m still in chemo, but they say it is doing well, and both are due to early detection, and the constant research refining the treatments…

“Which is of course what RFL is all about! Research for treatments, and research for detection methods.”

Thanks to a procedure called a PSA blood test, the cancer in Lihan’s husband was detected early on.

“(It’s an) annual blood test, nice and easy, so they caught it very early and could do the least invasive surgery,” Lihan said, “which cleaned everything out, with hardly any side effects.”

Relay For Life helps fund the research that makes developing new detection methods, such as the PSA blood test, possible. RFL also funds research into new treatments for cancer.

My grandmother was diagnosed with colon cancer and HER2 breast cancer in the mid-1980s. She underwent a colostomy, a mastectomy, chemotherapy and radiation, but the cancer came right back. After a second mastectomy and another round of chemo and radiation, she lost her battle in 1987.

Lihan, too, was diagnosed with HER2 breast cancer, “which 10 years ago would have been ‘very bad news,’” she said. “But now they have an antibody developed for it (there is that research again) so I get an injection of specialized antibodies, weekly for a year in addition to everything else. Tedious, but it is doing the job.”

“Tedious” beats the heck out of “futile.” Thanks to that antibody, Lihan’s prognosis is good; just 25 years ago, the same diagnosis for my grandmother was a death sentence.

“HER2 is a fairly fast-growing cancer, but after about two months of antibodies plus chemo, the lump has gone down so much the doctor can’t feel it,” Lihan said. “So, that stuff is doing its job! That is how much the treatments have improved.”

Remember that lily pond of Lihan’s I mentioned earlier? Each lily pad has floating text bearing the name of someone close to Lihan who has or has had cancer. All but one are survivors.

Besides my grandmother, I lost my fiancé to cancer when he was just 31. He was originally diagnosed with lung cancer, which he lived with for years as he underwent various treatments and was in and out of remission. But then cancer spread to his liver, and less than three months later, he was dead.

My father, though, is a cancer survivor. In 2000, he was diagnosed with colon cancer, just as his mother had been 15 years prior. He went through surgery, chemo and radiation; he lost more than half his body weight and at one point weighed just 83 pounds. No one – himself included – thought he would make it.

But somehow, he pulled through despite setbacks. He didn’t need a colostomy bag after his first surgery, but subsequent radiation treatments were too strong and not aimed properly, resulting in the fusion of his colon and necessitating the colostomy bag he’d been dreading. Many people urged him to sue; he was contacted by several lawyers, and even his own doctor apologized and said he knew things had to be made right. But Dad wasn’t having any of it.

“Those people saved my life,” he said. “How can I sue them? I’d like to sue cancer – that’s who should get sued!”

Dad has now been cancer-free for several years and has adjusted to his bag with good humor, even scandalizing a number of people while he was waiting to be wheeled in for his colostomy. He joked about having to find shoes to match his bag, and when my brother tried to delicately ask what the function of his colon would be after the surgery, Dad replied, “Now I have a place to hide your Christmas presents where I know you’ll never look for them!”

About a year after his recovery, Dad decided he needed a haircut. He never lost his hair through his ordeal, but it had nearly stopped growing. He went to his old barber, whom he hadn’t seen since shortly before his first surgery.

When Dad walked in, the barber looked up and rushed to hug him; Dad was surprised that the man was crying. It turned out he had just lost his wife to colon cancer.

“I thought you must have died,” he told my father. “The last time I saw you, you looked worse than my wife ever did.”

Dad turns 70 this year. He still goes to work every day. He falls asleep with the TV on and tracks mud into the house and snores and talks too loudly on the phone – when he’s not accidentally losing it somewhere. He complains about the cats and forgets to take care of his diabetes and is sometimes nearly impossible to live with.

But we wouldn’t have him any other way – and thanks to cancer research and treatment, we don’t have to.

OK, I know trademarks have to be protected, but now apparently there may be issues with using the name of a certain service we all know and love in a blog name.

There are FAQs to help you figure out if you’re OK, except I couldn’t figure them out. So I’ve tweaked the name of this blog a bit – can’t be too careful, right?

Ever just have one of those days? Sure you have.

Between real life and Second Life, I’m having a doozy. My mother is one of those people who has a knack for saying EXACTLY what will hurt someone the most, and she’s turned that on me. Oh, she won’t say it OUTRIGHT. No, she makes little innuendos and hidden slams, and if you try to call her on it AT ALL, she puts on her “OMG how could you DO this to me” guilt trip routine and you end up looking like the bad guy.

It’s not fun. Seriously. There is a reason I’ve saved nearly every pill from every prescription for painkillers and such I’ve gotten over the last several years. I call it my “suicide stash.” No, I don’t want attention, I doubt I’d ever actually USE it. But in a weird sort of way, it’s comforting just to know it’s there if I need it.

But at least I have SL, right? Yeah… maybe. I have a couple of diehard tried-and-true friends on SL who stick with me even when I’m grumpy and miserable (hey guys, just to warn you, this is one of those times). I also have a few people who maybe aren’t as close, but whom I like/trust/admire.

And then I have SL friends who are also my friends on Plurk – aren’t they? Maybe it’s just my natural innate shyness and insecurity, maybe not. I’m just not sure I really fit in. Everybody seems to have known everybody else for ages. Once in a while I get brave and jump into a conversation, but a couple of times the reaction has been like, “Uh… what’s SHE doing in here?” It’s the exception rather than the rule, but still. I often wonder when I reply to someone’s Plurk if I’m making a friend or an enemy. My Plurks don’t tend to get a lot of responses (the exceptions are Chas and a couple of people who I would totally let myself go fangirl over if I thought that wouldn’t embarrass them  :D). And then I start wondering, do people ignore my Plurks because I don’t reply to their Plurks (which is usually because they intimidate me, although most of them probably don’t know that), or do they ignore my Plurks because I HAVE replied to their Plurks and they thought what I said was stupid?

Did that make sense at all? Yeah, didn’t think so.

I’m also still working on letting things go and moving on, which is hard because one person in particular doesn’t seem to WANT to let it go. It’s getting harder because I figured, c’mon Vic, not EVERYBODY who has a business in SL in your field can be a control freak or out to screw you over, right? So I took a chance and tried it again. Put in my time and effort, was assured – ASSURED – that some of my concerns from the past two places were not a factor. Well, talk is cheap. The “set in stone” payday was two days ago. I am as yet unpaid, AND the response I got when I asked – VERY nicely – was rather snippy. This is already sounding WAY too familiar. Promises, promises – hey, it’s not MY fault your website is in violation of SL’s Terms of Service. And I get that RL happens, but then don’t insist you run a tight ship and you’re always on schedule.

I’m waiting for now to see what happens in the next day or so, but I’m not optimistic. I have a venture of my own I keep sort of starting; it’s way past time I stopped putting my time and effort into making other people look good and then getting screwed over when I could be doing this for myself. If it fails, at least it’s something I really enjoy, and the only one I’ll be able to blame will be myself.

Who knows. Maybe it won’t fail.

I made some new eye styles. Wearing one of them in this entry’s pics. Haven’t gotten around to putting them in vendors yet – ditto on the photos in the pic below – but if I already know you on a friendly basis and you want them, let me know and I’ll pass them on.

And now… not really a rant, just more of a puzzlement. I would never consider myself a fashion blogger; there are far too many people out there who do that much better than I ever could. But I do occasionally-starting-to-get-to-often blog about fashion because I’ve discovered I LIKE fashion (SO unlike my RL self, who never sacrifices comfort for style).

I know some bloggers get review stuff for free, and I’ve heard designers saying they WANT to be asked for review copies. Now I LOVE nice stuff for free – who wouldn’t? But I can’t imagine ever asking someone to give me something free to review. That would take way more gumption than I have. I used to think that it would be cool if some designer saw my blog and sent me free stuff without me having to ask, but then again – suppose they sent me something and I HATED it? Even if I didn’t hate it, I’m not sure I could give an unbiased review in a case like that. I’d be afraid to point out anything negative because they were nice enough to give it to me.

Which leads me to a recent event I took part in. There were a number of designers there, although it wasn’t any kind of fashion event. There were also two people who seemed very nice, so I won’t mention their names, BUT their actions were kind of inappropriate in my opinion. This was supposed to be a way to show support for a good cause. One of the two kept repeating that if any of the designers present needed a model, she wanted the job. The other reacted so eagerly when one designer talked about sending out blogger copies (“I have a blog! I have a blog!”) that I’m quite sure all she was really after was something free. It wasn’t the time or the place, and those certainly weren’t the right ways to go about it.

But that’s just my opinion. Besides, probably no one but Chas will read this.  :D

Anyway, the outfit in the top pic is so pretty, I just had to show a little more of it.

What Vic is wearing/lying on/decorating her house with. Warning – couple of shameless self-plugs in there.

Gown and fairy wings: “Nightwish” from Evie’s Closet

Hair: “Avery” in Treacle from Truth (darkened a bit to suit my mood)

Skin: “Sundust” Light in Sunny-Pure 4 from Curio

Lashes: “C01″ Natural from *FTL*

Eyes: “EyeScream Butterflies” in Cinders from Chartreusia

Bed: “Precious” cuddle/relaxing bed in Emerald from MB-CreationZ

Dragonfly photo: “My Nirvana” from Chartreusia

Daisy photo: “Daisy, Daisy” from Chartreusia